A hill to die on

A non-obvious problem for less experienced manager is failing to do second order thinking. It’s not immediately obvious because the consequences tend to take a long time to materialise. This is one reason why the majority of managers don’t learn from their failings. They expect a single tumultuous event from which to draw their learnings. The reality is much more mundane and less dramatic.

A manager that keeps pulling rank on their team, despite the insignificance of each event is doomed to lose - even when they think they are winning. A manager that prefers to get their way, than to see the point of view of their team member will eventually break the relationship. Depending on the fracture, some of the relationships are truly gone. I have experienced this myself with a few people. Despite having courteous interactions, “winning” as a team never feels the same. And there’s always a feeling of a problem not well solved - just like a broken leg that has never truly healed.

Sure, we are running, but it still hurts.